Heaven Can Wait
by theywillneverknow
Summary: Drabble-y one-shot from Lois' POV set after Clark has faced off with Doomsday. Written to the inspiration of Meat Loaf's 'Heaven Can Wait.'


**Title:** Heaven Can Wait  
**Author:** Firstflier  
**Characters:** Lois Lane, Clark Kent (mentions of other characters)  
**Rating:** PG  
**Short summary:** Drabble-y one-shot from Lois' POV set after Clark has faced off with Doomsday. Written to the inspiration of Meat Loaf's 'Heaven Can Wait.' This is something that just wouldn't leave me alone.

Dislcaimer:: I do not own Smallville or anything affiliated with it.

Heaven Can Wait

_Through the cold of the day_

All the men in Lois Lane's life had been useless.

Well, a smirk tugged at her lips, not completely useless. But they had all ended up disappointing her; the General, AC, Ollie, Grant, in a multitude of ways, some in a more subtle manner than others but still she had suffered that disappointment time and time again. And Clark Kent was no exception to that rule.

The only difference this time was that it hurt so much more than she had ever experienced. Maybe because she thought he was going to be the one who proved her wrong. Maybe because she honestly expected better of him. Or maybe because she was clinging on to her naive, teenage fantasies that he would be the one to ride in and sweep her off her feet.

She should have known better.

She marched through the news room and sat with unusual feline grace in the chair at her desk. She hated her traitorous eyes as they flicked to his inevitably empty desk and she silently berated herself for even entertaining the idea that he would show up for work.

'Snap out of it, Lane.' A voice that sounded distinctly like the General barked at her and she sub-consciously straightened her back as she turned to face her computer and start typing up her latest story; an enlightening piece on the local dentist who had been recycling old dentures. Truly, one of her finest pieces. She almost released a snarl at the injustice of it all. Lois Lane was not meant to still be doing these silly fillers that the Daily Planet stuck in the paper for a bit of light relief. Although, she thought smugly, the photos she had to accompany her article had been anything but light relief. Unless you counted the relief Jimmy found when his lunch came rapidly back up.

Tess had handed her the article de-brief, a malicious sparkle in her eyes and a cold smirk tugging at her lips. False sympathy dripped from her lips like sour honey.

"Just something a bit lighter than your usual stuff since you must be missing your partner, Lane." An eyebrow rose, daring the brunette to contradict the statement. Lois was never one to pass up a dare.

"Smallville?" She managed to scoff weakly, as if the suggestion was pure madness, all the while hoping her voice wouldn't crack. "Please, that glorified copy boy is not my partner."

"So you're not moping at your desk all day then?"

Tess' smirk merely grew on her face as if she had just tasted the most sinfully, delicious secret and was not going to share. Lois had walked out of the office, bored of the other woman's mind games, but just as she reached the door she had the final word.

"I don't mope Tess. I can recognise a lost cause when I see one." With a pointed look at the slightly stunned red head she had swept into the news room, a sense of achievement masking the painful tug her heart strings had felt at the mention of one sorely missed copy boy.

But she was definitely not moping. Nope. Definitely not.

_  
A band of angels wrapped up in my heart  
Will take me through the lonely night._

_And all the gods come down here just to sing for me  
And the melody's gonna make me fly._

She arrived at home at 9.30 and released a relieved sigh as she pushed the door shut with a sharp click.

Home.

That was a joke. This empty, lifeless apartment was a far cry from the home she had envisaged herself living in. It wasn't that it wasn't a nice place – it was good, great even especially after her pay rise from Tess but it just felt so...sterile. Cold. Even when she had the heating turned up full blast there was still something missing. Perhaps it was the lack of dirty dishes or pizza boxes that should be littering the kitchen area. Perhaps it was the cardboard boxes that littered the floor, each one like a silent gravestone of her personal belongings that she had yet to unpack. Perhaps it was the lack of photographs lining the walls or perhaps she had painted it the wrong colour but something was off. And she would never admit it out loud but she had a feeling that the reason this apartment felt so unlived in was because she was the only one that had stepped foot in it. Lois Lane was not one to complain (much) but she had been slightly hurt that neither Chloe nor Clark had even popped by to see her new place. Hell, even Jimmy had dropped in to say hi one afternoon as he was passing.

'They have other things going on in their lives, Lois. You are not the centre of the universe.'

She irrationally hated that little, snarky voice in the back of her mind. She had never asked to be the centre of the universe but an occasional pencil mark in the margins of her best friends' lives wasn't much to ask for, was it?

She slumped onto the sofa in the middle of the living room and slid her feet out of the pretty pumps she had endured all day long. As her head rolled back onto the plush cushion of the sofa she could not bear the silence any longer and reached blindly for the remote to her CD player. Navigating her way skillfully around the buttons it only took her four attempts to find the 'on' switch without looking and another two to find 'play'.

"_I should have known better  
Than to let you go alone.  
It's times like these  
I can't make it on my own.  
Wasted days, and sleepless nights  
An' I can't wait to see you again."_

Her eyes slid shut as Whitesnake, her Gods of music, drifted through the stagnant air and lulled her body with a gentle, musical caress into an awkward slumber that she did not have the energy to fight off.

Still, she wasn't moping. For one thing, she thought as she stifled a yawn and wriggled into a comfortable position on the couch, she didn't have any plaid. And that was a necessity if one wanted to mope.

Apparently.

"_I find I spend my time  
Waiting on your call.  
How can I tell you, babe?  
My back's against the wall.  
I need you by my side  
To tell me it's alright  
Cos I don't think I can take anymore._

_Is this love that I'm feeling?"_

_  
Give me all of your dreams  
And let me go along on your way  
Give me all of your prayers to sing  
And I'll turn the night into the skylight of day_

She awoke the next day, a crick in her neck and a wrinkle in her blouse that she didn't think would ever come out. At least, not with her lack of ironing skills anyway. After a cup of coffee, a quick shower and a change of clothes she finally made up her mind to go and see Clark herself. She had tried to see him a couple of times in the past two weeks but, even as she had got in her car, she knew she would chicken out and end up somewhere completely different like the Talon or Crater Lake. Last Tuesday, though she had managed to park her car right under his window, turn off the ignition and put her hand on the lever that would open the car door. She had paused for 20 long seconds before she shook her head, twisted the key in the ignition with a harsh flick of her wrist and had driven home again, shaking the entire way. And after that she had been back every day and every day it was the same thing. She would hover outside his door for about 10 minutes, occasionally have a chat With Mrs Kent, grab a cup of coffee and leave again. She had yet to talk to him.

This time would be different.

It was only when she checked the clock on her kitchen wall that she realised the hands hadn't even reached 6am yet. A frustrated groan tore from her throat and she ran a hand through her still damp hair as she pondered what she could do for a couple of hours until it was an acceptable time of the day to go visiting friends.

She crossed to the living room and dragged a large box marked 'Lois Stuff' in black marker, her messy scrawl on the top labeling her property in the most rudimentary way. With a resigned sigh, she pried open the top and began the lengthy, wholly un-enjoyable task of unpacking. The first item she pulled out was a photo frame, inside was a picture of Clark, Chloe, Jimmy and Lois at the botched engagement party before she had managed to get completely trolleyed and embarrass both herself and her cousin in front of a room full of their closest friends and strangers alike. They were all smiling, Jimmy had wrapped both his arms around Chloe and was kissing her on the cheek whilst she laughed and with one hand clung on to him whilst the other rested gently on his chest, a rosy glow creeping into her face. Lois stood next to her cousin with an arm slung around Clark who was looking at Lois with a grin that practically split his face in half and, even in the photograph, the sparkle in his eyes was evident.

_  
I got a taste of paradise  
I'm never gonna let it slip away_

She let a smile creep onto her face and she placed the photo delicately on the shelf above her fireplace in pride of place.

Yes, she would go and see Clark today. And then they would see who was moping.

_  
I got a taste of paradise  
It's all I really need to make me stay  
Just like a child again_

40 minutes, 3 coffees, 2 bumps into the coffee table, one loud swear word later and she had emptied the box of all but one item. She fumbled in the box for the next piece of her life that she could tuck away, forgotten in some dusty corner. When she could see what she had grabbed she dropped it straight back into the box.

A red and gold plaid shirt.

Now how had that gotten in there?

Shaking fingers delicately plucked up the heavy fabric again and she could not resist the temptation to bury her face in the soft shirt and inhale a scent that was purely Clark Kent. She suddenly felt like a little girl again and just wished someone would cuddle her in their lap as they stroked her hair. The image appeared with sharp clarity in her mind; herself dressed only in a football jersey, being cradled in a farm boy's lap as he gently stroked her hair with comforting whispers against her forehead and, still feeling queasy, the need to sleep eventually won the battle and she drifted off in his arms.

She folded the shirt reverently and laid it on the back of the couch, unsure where she should put it or whether she should return it. It was only when she was breaking the cardboard box up to put it in the recycling that she noticed another scribbled note on the far side of the box.

**Put my shirt in here because I figured it was easier than you trying to steal it! **

**Shelby will miss you and maybe I will a bit too. Maybe.**

**Happy moving day!**

**Xxx**

She sunk to the floor and felt the unexplainable, overwhelming need to bawl her eyes out.

But she didn't.

Because she was not moping.

__

And I know that I've been released  
But I don't know to where  
And nobody's gonna tell me know  
And I don't really care

They had not explicitly discussed what had happened between them after she had returned from Star City and she had never been more grateful for Clark's silence. She was not ready to have her heart shattered again; not after all the time she had spent methodically picking up the shards whilst she kept watch over her cousin-in-law as his surrogate wife. But that was over now and she was not going to dwell on the past. She had done well to bury the heavy disdain she had developed for her blonde cousin in her neglect of Jimmy, she had done even better to forgive Chloe without an apology in sight. At least their relationship was back on track – there had been a time that she wasn't sure she could be in the same room as her little cuz without wanting to throttle her.

It was a shame that things were still not back to normal with Clark.

It was not anything particularly noticeable, she reflected, but it was enough to have her crinkling her brow some days at their loss of intimacy. She was sure he had noticed it as well but they seemed to have come to a stalemate, and she knew for a fact that she would not be the one to break. Not again. It was not so much that their friendship had changed, per se, but she realised with surprising detachment that Clark Kent was suddenly no longer interested in her romantically. And he had been, that she was sure of. And, with the insight of only someone who spent 12 or more hours by his side every day could have, she was aware that he had let her go because he didn't think he could be the man she deserved. He had told her once that he understood if she was angry with him and she had looked him square in the eyes and told the absolute truth; she was not angry. She was disappointed.

And just like that the light from his eyes had dimmed before her.

She had tried to explain, tried to make him understand that her feelings were just as strong as before but she needed time to trust him again but, as ever, she failed in articulating what she really meant, having avoided such heinous words as 'love' and 'patience'. Instead, she knew, it had come out as a semi-rant about how she just wanted their friendship back to the way it had been and how people do silly things at weddings anyway. Which had been nothing short of a lie but she just couldn't bare her heart for him again. Not when he so callously threw it away the previous time she tried to let him in. And so they were stuck in this limbo where Lois knew she wanted more but didn't want to admit it (repress, Lois. Emotional piggy bank and all that) and Clark drifted between confusion and distraction.

But she would not sit in the dark and mourn a relationship that had not even existed in the first place. Because brooding just wasn't her style.

_  
I got a taste of paradise  
That's all I really need to make me stay_

Only Chloe knew about the permanent position the Daily Chronicle had offered her in Star City.

The newspaper that she had been writing the odd article for to relieve her boredom as she waited for Jimmy to crack open an eye, maybe two, had offered her a permanent position as one of their investigative reporters. Truth be told, she had not even had to think about her rejection because she could not possibly consider the idea of being away from Metropolis and the Daily Planet. It would be a lie to say that images of Clark, Chloe, Martha and Jimmy had not been floating around her head as soon as she read the offer. Chloe had looked at her like she was insane when she'd flippantly mentioned the generous pay rise they had offered her. Lois had shrugged sheepishly.

"I just...I guess I kind of like it here in Metropolis. Being here and being in Smallville, as much as I hate to admit it, it's the first place that's felt like home for a long time." She had given an embarrassed bark of laughter and shook her head. "I guess I found my own piece of sweet little Kansas paradise. Who would have guessed that it would be Smallville that made me go all sappy-romantic on you?"

And, with a smug smile that reminded Lois eerily of Lucy and spoke volumes that Lois could not (and did not want to) understand, Chloe had said no more about it.

_  
I got a taste of paradise  
If I had it any sooner you know  
You know I never would have run away from my home  
_

Lois Lane had almost come to call this place her second home. How sad was that? She might as well just re-pack all the things she had painstakingly unpacked this morning and just take up permanent residence in this place that she knew like the back of her hand. Walking down the hallway she bumped into a tired looking Martha Kent.

"Mrs Kent. Sorry."

"That's okay, Lois." The older woman gave her a strained smile. "Are you here to see Clark?"

They both knew the pointlessness of this question and yet she nodded in the affirmative anyway, not trusting her vocal chords to work.

"Well, you know where he is. I'm just going to get some coffee. Would you like a cup?"

"That would be great, Mrs Kent, thanks." She produced a genuine smile and it almost physically hurt as it cracked a path on her face that had not been taken for what felt like decades.

Martha squeezed the young woman's hand before she brushed past her. Lois took the all too familiar route to Clark's room and softly pushed the door open. He was there, lying on his bed, clearly fast asleep.

She tip toed into the room, as she always did when he was asleep in the living room and she snuck downstairs for a midnight snack, even though she knew he could sleep through pretty much anything. She noted the bunch of flowers on the window sill and recognised them as Martha's attempt to bring her son some cheer. She fiddled with the strap of her bag as she hovered uselessly in the middle of the room, unsure as to whether she should stay or go. But, in the end, the choice was not hers to make as her eyes forced her to observe this sleeping gentle giant. His face was calm, serene even in his unconscious state and the bed covers had rolled down to reveal a bare, toned torso and Lois hated that her heart skipped a beat at the sight of all that bare skin. She crossed the room to look out of the window as she toyed absently with the flowers in their vase.

"So I finally plucked up the courage to come see you." She murmured quietly, almost as an afterthought she rested her forehead on the cold, glass window. Her hands traced the stems of the daisies and she closed her eyes with a sigh. "I spend way too much time here, you know? Maybe I should get my own room?" Her dry humour was lost on the man that was sleeping behind her. She turned slowly and debated her next move. Unbidden, her feet dragged her to him and her body forced her to sit on the foot of the bed, the dip she made in the mattress not disturbing him in the slightest. She sighed at his lack of movement.

"I guess I should apologise for how long it took me to get out here. I tried to come last week but...I don't know. Reality became a bit too much. I say reality but some weird stuff has been happening recently; like Tess seems to think I'm moping or something. Psht, yeah right. I don't do the whole dark and broody thing." Her rambling cut off abruptly and she found her foot bouncing impatiently on the floor as she stared at his unmoving features.

"Look, Smallville, I have all the time in the world and you're going to have to wake up eventually so..." Her eyes narrowed caustically as he remained in a peaceful slumber. A minute dragged cruelly by. She gulped and could not bear the heavy silence that weighed down on her. She reached gingerly for his hand, positive that this would not wake him any more than any of her previous actions had. She squeezed her fingers and felt the faintest, butterfly squeeze back in response. "I miss you, you know?" She let a bittersweet smile slide onto her lips.

She had been the one to break.

_And all I got is time until the end of time_

"Miss Lane?"

She did not turn around.

"Yeah?"

"Visiting hours are over."

She nodded once, heard the door shut and released his hand, gently placing it back on the bed.

"So, looks like this is my cue, Smallville. But just before I go I should tell you that you better wake up soon because Lois Lane? She's not known for her God-like patience." She could not resist brushing her lips across his forehead as she stood up to leave. Her goodbye was a whispered breath against his skin.

"And, trust me; heaven can wait."

_Heaven Can Wait._

~*~End~*~_  
_


End file.
